Weird Writings - Everything You Don't Want To Know About Lily, James and Others

Everything You Don't Want To Know About Lily, James and Others
by Sabrina Snape, Loyal (NOT!) DE“That James Potter, I am going to strangle him one day! At break today he asked me if I wanted to go out with him! Ewwwwwww!” said my friend Lily Evans at the lunch table in the Great Hall.
“Aren’t you overreacting a bit,” said Ice, a fellow Ravenclaw friend of mine. “Yeah,” said Rasha, whose in Gryffindor with Lily, “I mean he’s a guy.”
“Well yeah, but it’s James Potter. He is such a little….,” Lily’s face was red with rage and she was squeezing her quill like she was trying to kill it. “Okay, I am not going to say it because this is school.”
Rasha rolled her eyes, “Come on, no one’s going to care,” she said.
“Who knows they probably have little sensors or something all over the school to detect when you say swear words!” said Saphira, another Ravenclaw.
“Saphira! Yeah right! If so then how come we’re in our second year already and the supposed “sensors” haven’t picked up all the times Sabrina’s older brother has called me a mudblood!” Lily nearly shouted glaring at me at little.
“Hey it’s not my fault my big brother needs to wash his mouth out with soap and then stuff his head in a toilet!” I said defensively.
“Yeah, probably,” said Lily and we all cracked up laughing. I myself don’t really know what happened next because I blacked out and had a premonition. According to my friends this was what it looked like:
My eyes glazed over, and I fell with a thud back into my chair. Then I started muttering unintelligible words under my breath. At that moment another of my Ravenclaw buddies, Lilo walked up.
“Sorry I’m late guys! Professor Wiggliwattel ran overtime in Muggle Studies…! Whoa! What’s up with Sabrina? Did she have a cardiac arrest or something?” said Lilo.
“A whatty what-what?” asked Rasha blinking in confusion.
“Heart attack,” answered Ice, who had walked up to my chair and was poking my limp body and looking concerned.
At this moment I sat up in my chair, looked around, and said, “Lilo? When did you get here?”
“Uhhh….Like a minute ago when you were all freaky and kind of dead and we were about to get a teacher,” said Lilo in a voice that said how-come-you-were-dead-just-a-second-ago-and-now-you’re-alive?. Just then my eyes zeroed in on Lily’s goblet that was sitting right beside her plate.
“Is that pumpkin juice by any chance?” I asked in a terrified voice.
“Uhh.. like no. It’s water,” said Lily.
“Then how come its blue?” I asked.
“Because I was bored and turned it blue. See I can turn all clear and boring again.” Lily tapped her glass and said, “Bluius Vanishio!” the blue drink turned into plain old water again. I nodded. Then Lily burst out, “ Can we pulease talk about James Potter some more! I have like so many other things to be mad at him for!”
“Lily…!,” Ice, Rasha, and I all said in unison.
“No let’s!” said Lilo, “I mean I don’t really have a thing for James, but Sirius is sooo cute!”
“Yeah, I know, Lupin is like so cool! I am totally crushing on him!” said Saphira, practically bouncing out of her seat.
Lily jumped up and screamed, “WHAT!!!! Ohmigosh, how can my friends be crushing on James Potter’s friends! I HATE YOU!!!” Lily grabbed her books and wand and clutching them to her chest stomped off.
“ I guess she doesn’t want her fudge brownie then,” I said and snatched it quickly of her plate before the plate sank into the wood of the lunch table.

We were all in 2:00 Divination, when it happened. Professor Trelawney was explaining the basics of reading tarot cards, when suddenly she went all rigid and started wheezing. Trelawney half walked, half stumbled over to the table where Lily was sitting.
She put her hand on Lily’s shoulder and gasped, “What you desperately hope will not happen will!” While this was happening Lily was making disgusted faces at Rasha and I from across the table as she tried to shrug Trelawney’s hand off her shoulder. Then Proffessor Trelawney smiled and said, “I think I’ll dismiss you early today, children. Bye-Bye now!”

As we walked down the hall to our next classes Lily was complaining about Trelawney again. “She is so annoying. She like embarrassed me in front of the whole class! I can embarrass myself fine without her interfering! She is such a little…”
“Come on, you can do it,” encouraged Rasha.
“I am going to say it,” said Lily, “just hold on a sec. She is such a little…a little…imbecile.”
“Lily, what are you so afraid of? You can’t even say a simple swear word! I am going to have to carry around one of those vidius chimera things we learned about in Muggle Studies so I can catch it on tape when you finally say a cuss word,” said Rasha.
“You mean a video camera?” asked Lily, “But do you have any Muggle money?”
“Uh….no,” said Rasha.
“Well, then. How are you going to buy it?” asked Lily.
“I don’t know, I was just joking….” At this moment I remembered something about the time I blacked out. About voices whispering something to me. Something about Lily…
“LILY!” I yelled, but they had already turned the corner.

The next day at lunch I knew I had to warn Lily. “Is that pumpkin juice?” I asked when she sat down and her plate and goblet automatically filled themselves.
“Yes,” said Lily and picked up her goblet as if to drink from it.
“No don’t!” I yelled.
Lily cocked her head at me and said, “What is it with you and pumpkin juice?” She drained her whole goblet.
“Lily, no you see it’s about you and James….,” I began.
“ME AND JAMES! Are you implying that I like him???!!!! Just for that I should tell Severus that it was you and not Lucius who told his pet snake to cuss him out in Parseltongue!” Lily screamed and stood up as if to storm off again. It was then that she caught sight of James Potter.

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